Roommates 101

It’d be nice if everyone got along.

But then again, we wouldn’t need playground supervisors then, or martial arts, or zombie survival books. The reality is that conflict, when it comes to your living situations, is to some degree, inevitable. Whether it be “All right everyone. This is not funny. Where are my Digimon Fruit Snacks.” or an unruly overnight visitor, I’ve compiled a list of basic ideas and things to keep in mind during your “rooming” experience this upcoming year. Gathered from numerous suggestions, friendly testimonies, and some of my own personal experiences, I hope that you use this blog post to your advantage to really navigate through the possible minefields that may come your way.

Now, I will explain these tips to you through numbers in a well-organized number format. Cool.

1) Set guidelines and a living contract

Yes. I know. Rules are no fun. But in this case, I find rules to be STRONGLY recommended, if not NEEDED to set a common understanding and respect of everyone’s wants. To successfully achieve this activity, I need you to be honest with yourselves. (This is deep folks.) Know your living habits, and introduce them in a positive light to your roommates the first day. (For example, if you sleep late at night, you can express that you think of yourself as a nocturnal person, and you like working in the night because of the peace) That way, you can establish base expectations of your living mates, rather than unfortunate (or fortunate?) surprises later. To get you started, go over acceptable noise levels at times of day, Food Sharing Policies, Visitor Policies amongst your suite, Cleaning Routines, and all that good ol’ nice stuff.

2) Keep in mind of future arrangements
By this, I mean to be aware of compromises made in the beginning too hastily; for example, when you all are starting to make rooming arrangements, you may decide as a residence hall suite/and or apartment to purchase a TV, microwave, or any sort of handy item. Just be careful. Think about how such an item would be divided by the end of the year, and this will eventually be a potential problem if not addressed. No one’s happy slicing their TV into portions. So, when you establish “sharing” rules for any sort of item, try to find a compromise, such as “I’ll bring my plasma TV from home if you can bring your high-tech Microwave,” Many conflicts can be avoided by simply thinking ahead.

3) Socialize with each other
I know this sounds ridiculous. "Socialize? I’ll be around my suite-mates and/or apartment-mates for HOURS, how could I not socialize with them?" While of course, you will spend your sleeping hours together to some extent, I, along with many, found that it is easy to let a rift happen between your suitemates/and or apartment mates after time. Different social circles will cater to your different experiences and personalities, and with your classes and/or extra-curriculars, it will be easy to stray, so plan for simple things, such as dinner together on a Thursday night. Yeah, I know, it sounds corny and sentimental, but it goes a long way in becoming not only more easygoing around each other early on, but also reaching friendly compromises and peaceful conclusions to arguments.

But if not?(This brings us to our next point)

4) Sometimes, you just “gotta", seek outside guidance.

Outside help can come in a variety of ways: while your RA and your Res. Life are great resources (in facilitating conflicts), if and when a major trouble occurs (that seems unsolvable), it may be also beneficial to you to share your experiences with a good friend . By doing so, you might be able to see the conflict from a third perspective to look at how you can tackle your “trouble” in a new way. Sometimes, when everything seems to hit the fan along with housing troubles, the knowledge that you have a support of a few good people to talk to (friends and staff) support of a few good people is all you need to go through a rough time.(Don’t roll your eyes here, these are true words)

5) R-E-S-P-E-C-T.

Those good 7 letters combine to make an even better word; respect for your living mates’ items and privacy goes far in establishing not only trust and good relationships, but also an all-around good year with your living partners. I hear it also builds character.

So really, it’s important to keep all these things in mind. All this scratches the surface, but I hope you all have all gained at least that “something” from this blog post.

And in all, in the worst case scenario, if you find that your apartment-mates/suitemates are not simply compatible, if you have these and some of your own base guidelines established, you will always have these set to fall back on to coexist and be on the same wavelength.

But in all optimism as well, having the lucky opportunity to have a roommate(s) as a confidant and a good friend is invaluable in your college career and your latter life. It’s all about give and take, to find that balance between friendship, rooming relations and everything in between.

I’ll also leave you with something else: Touching on what most people said, it’s important to keep things in balance. Academically balanced, socially balanced, physically balanced, and balancing your friendships not only in your living space but also around you. Once things start slipping in the wrong direction, it falls on you to you to change your path the way YOU want it to.

Oh, and if you didn’t know, Warren’s kind of big on establishing a balance in life. Which is kind of why you’re entering a great college.

Last thing: CONGRATULATIONS in getting into UCSD. You’re going to enjoy University.

-Brian Lee
Freshman Orientation Leader GROUP 18!